Poet's Workshop

photo by Gerry Williams

Poet's Workshop Presents: How to Let a Poem Go by Terrie Leigh Relf ©2003 All rights reserved

Poetry Submissions Update:
At this point, the featured poet slots are filled through December 2003. While I'm still open to submissions, the first available slots begin with our January 2004 issue. Thank you for your patience in this-and all other-matters.

How to Let a Poem Go

"There is no try. There is only do or not do."
--Yoda, Jedi Master

First, a few shameless plugs…

My illustrated storybook (and no, it's not a "kiddie" book), The Ice Queen, has just been released by Sam's Dot Publishing. It's available through projectpulp at: http://projectpulp.com/item_detail.asp?bookID=-1982489515

I also have a poem in Sam's Dot Publishing's 2004 illustrated calendar. This is a must for SF/spec lovers. It's available from Erin Donahue's site: http://poetryfox.com/misc/index.html.

Necklaces in the Sand, a new anthology edited by Susan R. Higgins, in which I'm in excellent company, is now available through Lucy Westenra Publishing at http://toadmama_pooh.tripod.com/bloodletterspressandelfhelperinc/id17.html

Don't forget my collection of horror poetry from Lucy Westenra, Metro Madness and other poems. One of the great things about ebooks is that supplies never run out…Go to: http://toadmama_pooh.tripod.com/bloodletterspressandelfhelperinc/

There are only twenty-five Lap Danced by the Muse left. You can order them through writersmonthly.com or purchase them directly from me at the 4th Sunday Santos open mic.

That's it for now-but more is coming! Just in case you're wondering, I still get as excited as a little kid when I get published. So no, it's not "going to my head". In case you forgot, the MIBs took part of my brain. The Muse (who's being exceptionally nice to me) has accepted me into her rehab center. I just might write her a new ode.

On to the monthly column…

Writing poetry isn't like a relationship—it is a relationship.

Sometimes we let them go easily because there's another one sitting right next to us and it seems oh-so-much-more appealing. Other times, we wish we could get a restraining order on them because they continue to stalk us even after we've dumped them. Still others haunt us, and no medium, dead or alive, can figure out what message they're trying to communicate.

Have you ever felt afraid of being left all alone without a poem? Once you have a poem-in-process, do you refuse to let it out of your sight to the point where it threatens leave you if you don't get a grip?

I suppose I could also ask whether you're afraid to be alone with a poem—but that's another column…

I'm here to tell you that it's time to be brave and let that poem go. It's not like you'll never have another poem ever again. When the time comes, the "right" poem will seek you out—or you, it. You'll probably have more insight and be even better prepared to commit to a relationship with a poem. Really.

I don't know why, but some people dump their poems in a hurry and move on to the next one before they've fully processed the significance of their time together. Another behavior I've noticed is that some people need to get angry before they let a poem go. This is not really letting go; it's an aggressive shoving away. They crack disks, shred paper, bang on their desk or table. No doubt you've observed this behavior at some point in some poet.

It's not the poem's fault. Have you noticed that when the finger of blame is pointed that it tends to boomerang?

Since it takes two to have a relationship, there has to be a balance, an even exchange. Communicate with the poem. Ask it what it wants, what it needs. You need to be honest as well. Tell it what you want, what you need. Together, create a supportive environment so that both you and the poem feel comfortable enough to express your thoughts and feelings.

If that doesn't work, then maybe you both need time alone to process. I can relate…If I don't get time alone I, well, ah-er—maybe I should keep part of myself a mystery…

You could also put that poem—or poems--on a disk and stash that disk somewhere. (Warning: Some poems will do the same to you. In fact, they will take you places you don't want to go, like "milk-soaked liver and onions on a Sunday!") In fact, take all the poems that won't speak to you and/or that elicit angry or depressed emotions (remember: depression is anger turned on oneself) and put them on that same disk. Don't worry if you have more than one of these disks. Once you have them all gathered together, you just might have an epiphany as to why the relationships aren't working. You may see patterns that you didn't notice.

You can also start a new poem. Start several new poems. Try not to think about the other poems. The old poems. I know you loved them deeply…But please, please, please don't take them out to fondle, cry or rant over. Move on. Yes.

Just let them go…

In retrospect, you will have learned something from this process. For all those of you who are familiar with my "muse" series, I know what you're thinking…

Let it go!

I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying.

Q&A:

Q: What? No Q&A again?

A: I'm waiting for some more questions…I'd love it, too, if you'd suggest ideas for future columns! Several people told me that they liked last month's column on getting a poem started-this is what I need to hear!

Send your comments and questions-and your poetry-to Terrie Leigh Relf at terrie@WritersMonthly.com

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