Poet's Workshop

photo by Gerry Williams

Poet's Workshop Presents: On Resurrecting Dead Poems by Terrie Leigh Relf ©2003 All rights reserved

Poetry Submissions Update:
At this point, the featured poet slots are filled through December 2003. While I'm still open to submissions, the first available slots begin with our January 2004 issue. Thank you for your patience in this-and all other-matters.

I was looking through some poem files that I'd begun, but hadn't "finished". I often equate this with "haven't-sent-out-to-be-possibly-accepted-or-rejected-yet". Since many publications only accept submissions "the old-fashioned way" (remember envelopes and stamps?), I've been trying to get back in the habit.

What did I find but a document graveyard filled with letters and poems to several publications! I slowly pried open the coffin lid for Dreams of Decadence, one of DNA's lovely glossies. Whew--did I ever get a whiff! While most were in the final stages of decomposition, there were two that seemed able to withstand reanimation.

So, I dug them up.

They reeked so bad that my eyes teared, but poetry is not for the fainthearted, so I sank my teeth into them.

You, too, can be a graverobber. Read on!

Poem One:

I've started seeing a therapist

she says I'm depressed
perhaps I should make
new friends
join a gym
get out more during the day

sunshine is good for you
she says
vitamin D
you should take more iron
she adds
looking at my pale skin
the bruises

you aren't in an abusive relationship
are you?

no I answer with a sigh
reluctant to confess that
I abuse myself
weary of incessant hunger
rarely sated

perhaps you need a new job
a new apartment
a new outfit?
they're having a sale at Macy's

she smiles
strokes the length of
a gypsy blouse sleeve
only $20
regularly $53

she pauses
waits politely
for a response

we both look at the clock

times up
I think we had a good session
she says

as if time
has any meaning
when you're
dead

Poem Two:

it's not easy being a vampire

like abnormal cells in a Petri dish
we've evolved
it could be worse
Imagine zygotes
flash-frozen
at least I'm not a zombie
my ex-boyfriend was vegan and
when he turned into a zombie it was like
he wasted away to nothing
it was so sad how he'd follow me
to the local cemetery
just hang out
dig for grubs like some skunk
under the bathtub in the winter

After reading and rereading these (and wondering if I should bury them deeper next time, or better yet, cement them into a mausoleum), I decided there was a theme connecting the two.

Vampires with personal problems, AKA "issues". In the first poem, our vamp is depressed, and so she's seeing a therapist who obviously doesn't understand the depth of her boredom and despair. The therapist's attempts to perk her up via all kinds of human-esque activities are superficial to this vamp. She is bored, too, I would think.

The vamp in the second poem isn't all that thrilled with her life-or is she? She counts her blessings (e.g., at least she's not a flash-frozen zygote or a zombie). Furthermore, she acknowledges that her kind has "evolved"; just what that may mean we don't know. But there is a link to "abnormal cells in a Petri dish", which signifies cell growth gone awry.

So here I am with two nightcrawlers who may or may not be the same female vampire telling different stories to different people. It would be safe to say that in the first one, her audience is human and uninformed. Or perhaps it's an internal monologue. Or perhaps she's hanging at el café de la noche with her vampire friends, sighing over a glass of Private Reserve with the resident vamp, Bettina (Note: Here, I'm transfusing from my novel-in-process).

In the second, the narrator's audience seems to be open-minded, or in some way familiar, with creatures of prey like vampires, zombies, and genetic scientists. Perhaps the audience is one of her own kind. Maybe it's a genetic scientist conducting experiments on abnormal cell activity such as that found in vamps and zombies and such. It, too, could be an internal monologue. On the other hand, since vamps have telepathic powers, she may be "sending" these thoughts to another vamp…

While both poems are in free-verse, there are other differences: in length, in style, and in tone. Playing Frankenstein aside, what parts should I take and attach to which body?

(Several hours later…)

Let's see what's on the slab--it's undead!

My friend, the Vampire

says
I started seeing a therapist
'cause Lance and I are getting
divorced

so I took her to the mall
bought her a few new things
something sassy for the solo
nightcrawler scene

around dusk
we went to el café de la noche
had an espresso with thin slices of lemon
she sucked on the lemon
added a bit of salt
shuddered from the souls
of her feet

I thought it was the salt
but then she said
Lance is eating meat!

Isn't he vegan?
I reached for another slice
of lemon

well, she mumbled between mouthfuls
of salt-drenched lemon
at least I'm not a zombie
I mean like when he was turned
he wasted away to nothing
but he'd still follow me around
whimpering how he was so hot and
could we go to the graveyard
lay our heads against
a moon-burned
stone

oh how he stank!
worse then a grub-digging-skunk
in heat

I just couldn't live like that anymore!

but when he started eating meat
that was it

she chose a larger lemon slice
wedged it in her mouth
over her teeth
growled

between guffaws
I managed to say
but you drink blood

that's different
she tells me
I always use a straw
say please and thank you
before and after each meal

I was raised right you know
she adds to my raised eyebrow
reaches for
sucks on another lemon
says
these are good to curb your urge
for sweets

While the above may still need another transfusion-or maybe a morph into fiction-you can see what I took, what I left out, and what I added. As I've said in previous columns, save all these odds and ends. What may at first seem like a poem in need of last rites, may only need a slight transfusion to survive.

Who knows…it may even be immortal.

Visit these sites:

DNA Publications
http://dnapublications.com/

Dreams of Decadence
http://dnapublications.com/dreams/index.htm

Lucy Westenra: Bride of Dracula
Doris Pearson and Henry Lewis Sanders
http://toadmama_pooh.tripod.com/

Blood Dreaming, a collection of Gothic ku by Henry Lewis Sanders
http://www.the-writers-garret.com/blooddreaming.htm

Read this great article by Cat at Shadowlands:
"Vampirism Around the World: The Folklore of Different Cultures"
http://theshadowlands.net/vamp3.htm

Cathy Buburuz's Site:
http://catherine_buburuz.tripod.com

The Transylvania Times Needs You:
http://www.samsdotpublishing.com/TransylvaniaTimes.htm

Side Show: Tales of the Big Top and the Bizarre: http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?isbn=0%2D595

Look for some other sites on vampires that I think are cool
Send your questions, comments, and poetry to yours truly: terrie@writersmonthly.com.

Q&A Section

Q: I've heard that there are a lot of poetry scams out there. Could you please fill me in?

A: Yes, there are quite a few poetry scams out there, "publishers" who prey on new and eager poets, as well as those who manage to hoodwink the more experienced. The first such publisher that comes to mind is poetry.com, perhaps because they're one of the more visible entities…

I put a request out to a few lists and groups with which I'm involved, and here's what they had to say:

"This is a trap--poetry.com. Years ago I fell for it and they published one of my poems. Somehow it got back into their system, only by now my name has changed; they published it even though I told them explicitly not to do so. Apparently, another one of my little ghoulish poems made another book, even though I have not returned the permission card at all. If you enter, you will be published; then, they will sell you the book for what is probably close to $100.00 now; I don't know for sure.

They do this for photography as well. I have one in one of their books,
my niece has another. Total scam." (anonymous poet/artist)

Cathy Buburuz, Editor for Champagne Shivers, sent this in response to my call for commentary:
"Cyberspace and mail boxes all over the world have been invaded by poetry scams disguised as contests with no entry fees. After you enter, you'll receive a letter telling you that your poem has been selected for a gorgeous leather-bound volume and for just a couple of hundred dollars, you can have your bio inserted and a copy delivered to your door. Then there's the scam whereby your acceptance letter states that you have been selected as a top poet, and for the bargain price of $50 or $60 you can have an engraved plague that announces your talents as a poet. Then there's the one where you're expected to spend several hundred dollars to attend a poets' conference where you'll be presented an award and have a chance at thousands of dollars in prizes. Beware. Whenever a publisher asks a writer to part with their hard-earned dollars, it's a scam. The best advice I can give a new poet is never pay a contest fee and never send money to a publisher for anything. Do not submit to these leeches. Send your work to only those editors or publishers who offer payment (and at least one contributor's copy) for accepted work."

But rather than my going on and on, why not visit the following sites for more information?

No one can compare to Angela Adair Hoy and her team when it comes to publicizing those who take advantage of writers-whether it be for non-payment, false advertising, or just general bad manners…Thank you, Angela! You are a shining light!

Visit her "Whispers and Warnings" section for updates. Be sure to subscribe to her free newsletter, too.
http://www.writersweekly.com

The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, Inc. has a "writer alerts" section at their site:
http://www.sfwa.org/beware/

Duran Imboden, of writing.org, has a good article on poetry scams. It's available at: http://www.writing.org/html/a_poetry_scams.htm

Visit another one of my favorite sites, absolutewrite.com. "Getting the Scoop on Poetry Contest Scams" by Gloriana is a good read. Check it out at: http://www.absolutewrite.com/specialty_writing/poetry_scams.htm

If you know of any scams, or if you think something smells and it's not the Stilton, then send in your comments and questions. I'll research-and put the word out--accordingly.

Send your comments and questions-and your poetry-to Terrie Leigh Relf at terrie@WritersMonthly.com

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