Leah Peterson is Humpty Dumpty Reconstructed in so many ways. Her life, at points, was so precarious that she was constantly teetering on a wall. Leah did fall a few times. It was never hard enough to crack her outer shell, but then again, it wasn't the outside that needed mending. It was her inside-- herself-- that needed to be put back together again.  | | Seven Faces ~ sketch | Leah has multiple talents and had multiple personalities. Each personality had talents, passions. Leah writes, paints, sculpts, sews, dances, and shoots photography, and this is the short list. Considering her many talents, I lacked the courage to ask exactly how many personalities she had. Remember, I just gave you the short list. Was it really a one to one ratio? For me, that was unbelievable. Here I was, thinking I was going to talk to a fellow WriterMonthly's columnist, a multi-talented person, and Leah answers my first question by diving in to multiple personalities "because this is where [the interview] is going to end up anyway." Leah is now a person who is integrated. All of her seven personalities have been, well, brought together. It took three years and Leah is now just Leah. She is a stronger person and better able to cope. She is one person with multiple talents. There it is-- that last sentence I just wrote. Leah is one person with multiple talents. The more I think about this, the more I realize that the interview went exactly as I thought it would go. As Leah says, she is just a creative person. WM: So, even though you are now integrated, you've kept all of your talents? LP: Integration has been an interesting experience. I don't want to let any of my talents or hobbies go. I enjoy all of them. I express myself in these different areas. I kept them all and it can be a bit of a juggling act. I look forward to all of it and none of it is a drag. And I don't feel overwhelmed. Yet. For as long as I can, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing, which is all of it. WM: What does integration mean?  | | Italian Copy ~ painting | LP: If you have personalities and you try to get healed there are several different ways that you can go. One way is to make a corporation in your head, where all the different personalities have an equal say. You choose one personality to mostly be "out" so that you can appear as a mostly "normal" person. Another way to go is to be integrated, which is what I chose, where all of the different pieces are put back together. Not a lot of people choose this. It takes a huge amount of work and is kind of scary, because your whole life you are used to having your brain work in one way and now you are trying to switch it into a different gear. Is it going work? What's that going to feel like? But, I felt that integration was what I had to do, and I'm glad that I did. Now I have a completely different life that is better, but still the same. Nothing was lost. Everything put together makes me so much stronger. My coping skills are better. I have the chance to have the kind of life I always wished that I could have. I wrote the book about it in case it could help someone else in my situation. WM: The "Art Therapy" section on your website? Why is that broken out from the rest of your paintings? LP: Those were the paintings that I did as I was working through all of the different issues I had to work through just to become integrated. Integration is not the final step. You have to work through 'how am I doing now that I am integrated.' But it is a milestone. To integrate, first everyone (all the personalities) has to agree that it's the right thing to do, and in order to agree everyone has to understand and appreciate what the change is going to be. Everyone has to be the same age, and everyone has to heal by working through the issues that are holding them back. It's so much intense work. That is why a lot of people don't choose this approach. WM: How long did it take? LP: It took me about three and a half years. And I know other people work on it for their whole entire lives and don't get there, so I consider myself very lucky. I had wonderful, wonderful doctors who helped me. When I was married, my husband made enough money for me to see the best locally. I traveled to Irvine and Torrance twice a week for months. I had that advantage. Most people don't and they have to rely on someone with out the right training to help them. Maybe that's why it typically takes years and years for them to have success if they achieve it at all. After my divorce, I went to Washington [state] and just happened to end up with the Northwest American expert. I was very blessed. WM: So the Art Therapy paintings were assignments by doctors?  | | Spinkler Boys ~ photograph | LP: Some of them were assignments from doctors. They would say that they would want you to express "this" or "that" feeling, because you go through periods where you can't really talk about things. If you're an artist, and most people with mental illness are artists in one way or another, you can express yourself. Maybe you can't understand it and you can't verbalize it, but you can show your work to your doctor and they are trained to analyze it. The doctor will say "Well, I see this in your artwork" and then you can talk about it. It is a way of opening up things. The other paintings in the Art Therapy section I did on my own, when I wasn't seeing anybody because I found that it worked for me. Pictures of those paintings will be included in the book. My next book project is about art therapy work, who does it and what it does for them. WM: Why were you not seeing a doctor? LP: Some of them were assignments from doctors. They would say that they would want you to express "this" or "that" feeling, because you go through periods where you can't really talk about things. If you're an artist, and most people with mental illness are artists in one way or another, you can express yourself. Maybe you can't understand it and you can't verbalize it, but you can show your work to your doctor and they are trained to analyze it. The doctor will say "Well, I see this in your artwork" and then you can talk about it. It is a way of opening up things. The other paintings in the Art Therapy section I did on my own, when I wasn't seeing anybody because I found that it worked for me. Pictures of those paintings will be included in the book. My next book project is about art therapy work, who does it and what it does for them. WM: Is your picture of the old man a homeless person? LP: You're talking about Moshay! Mickele, my roommate, actually found him again. I had gone looking for him a few times, but I couldn't find him anywhere. My children and I, we used to take him some food or to go shower or to a motel to sleep for a night. But now I can't really offer him much. I don't know if he'll remember me. It's been a year or so. But I'm definitely going to go see him. WM: Why were you so close to being homeless?  | | Merry-Go-Round ~ photograph | LP: Well, my marriage ended. My husband had stayed with me for almost fourteen years, which, as I look back on that, is amazing. But it got to the point where he didn't know how to live with me. I don't blame him. I could hardly live with myself. One of my personalities hated him. My husband just wanted me to be done, and I couldn't be done. Once you open that can of worms, it gets worse before it gets better. And I was fighting to be well over everything. I wasn't going to stuff it all back in a box and pretend that everything was OK. I think he was angry because I chose getting well over him. So I stayed with my sister, Rhoda. She is my biggest cheerleader. I guess it isn't really possible for me to be homeless with so much family that loves me. Any one of my brothers and sisters would have let me live with them. But if I didn't have them in my life I would have been on the streets. I'm lucky. And now I have the skills to take care of myself. It feels really good to be able to do anything I want that I'm willing to work for. WM: So, you are now one person, with all of these talents. What do you want to do next? LP: There is always stuff that I want to do next. I would love to spend some time in a recording studio. People close to me would say 'Please don't sing songs!' Namely, my children, who are great sports and put up with me belting out as loud as I can in the car until I'm hoarse. But some day I want to do covers of my favorite songs. Some Billy Holliday, Ella Fitzgerald. Alanis Morissette. There's one by Dar Williams that I love. And of course Gwen Stefani from No Doubt. I don't really know how to do this. I don't want to get a whole band together and I don't want to use the corny karaoke music either. WM: And what about your online gallery, Passepar2? LP: I had started that gallery before I was integrated. I was looking for a way to bring my life together. It had many challenges and rewards because I knew nothing about websites so I had to learn it all. Eventually I had to change the name to Leah Peah Gallery because no one could spell or pronounce the name. Passepartout is French and means master key to everything. I love the meaning. WM: Do you like being a student? LP: I love learning. Love it. I went to Palomar College before I was divorced. I took art classes and art design. If I wasn't doing everything I'm already doing, I think I would like to put in the time to get a diploma.  | | Carlsbad Mural Close Copy ~ painting | WM: Ok, so here is the list of everything that you like to do: pottery, ceramics, sewing, wood working, jewelry crafting, candle making, book & paper crafting, computer graphics, sketching, weaving, wall murals and room themes, painting, photography, and writing. Do you excel at any or all of these? Are any of them an utter disaster? LP: [Laughs] Things that I am a disaster at are not on that list. I am really good at all of those things. And there are others that I didn't even put down. I have taught classes in just about all of them. I really enjoy them all. If someone came to me and said that they wanted me to make candles for the next three months of my life, I would do it because I knew that at the end of that I could do something else. But, if it were for the rest of my life, I would not do any of those things. I like to do everything. WM: Do you feel outside pressure to pick just one? LP: Yeah, this has come up lately with certain people that I am close with in my life. They have been waiting around for me to show something called "stability", to pick one and move forward with that. But I am happy with myself and what I am doing now. I will never be a person who does one thing from 9 to 5. I'll never be that. And I think I am stable now. I'm stable with variety. WM: Professionally, do you feel successful?  | | Tony 1 ~ photograph | LP: Sometimes I think maybe I'm not making enough money to feel successful. But where I am at in my life, where I have come from, I am totally successful. From the place where I came from emotionally and mentally, I am very happy to wake up every morning. Sometimes I want to pinch myself.
WM: Now you are working at North San Diego County Magazine, or just "North," do you like that job? LP: I love it. I get sent all over to take pictures of home interiors, tamales and CEOs and furniture. Fire retardant plants. Weird stuff. I totally enjoy it because it is always different. And I think they are trying to do a great thing with that magazine. I like to work on good projects. WM: Are you looking for a dream job? LP: I thought if I could find a way to do writing, photography, and painting, I'd be happy. But I started to do loan consulting and I've found I also like to help people solve problems. And with my background, I'm good at looking through everything to find something to help my clients. Some people are afraid that they can't buy a home because they don't have perfect credit. I know ways around that. I know what it's like to be in that situation and I enjoy helping them reach their goals. The broker that I consult with is wonderful. She is very supportive of me. I love working with her. So, a Dream Job? Maybe if there was a way to help more people. I don't have much more time left in a day to do it but hopefully the book will do that by itself. That's what I hope, anyway. WM: Tell me about your book.  | | Hyde Park Lights ~ painting | LP: I hope to get it published soon. I started the book before I went to Washington. I was going to publish the book anonymously. I didn't want to hurt my kids or family. The book is my biography in novel format. I did change the names though. But now I think it won't hurt my family. In the beginning, I was afraid people would think that I had awful parents, but now I think that people will realize that they were reading through the eyes of young girls, and that it wasn't necessarily always reality. Teen girls sometimes get a little emotional and blow things out of proportion. Anyone with a teenager will tell you that. And while it was the reality that I was living in at the time, it wasn't the only reality that was true. Does that make sense? WM: What inspires you do to everything? The writing? The artwork? LP: Well, I don't know. Being alive I think. I wake up in the morning and just want to express myself in some way. What is it going to be today? And something will feel appealing and I'll just do it. I have the column at Writers Monthly and the book I finished but currently I'm not doing a lot of writing besides my blog. It's an online journal I keep to stay in touch more with my kids than anything. A few of my kids have their own as well and we read each others blogs to stay informed. I also keep it current with what's going on. It's a good way to keep a record of where I'm at in every avenue of my life. WM: Do you ever vend at art shows? LP: I hate peddling my own wares. I did that when I was in Germany and got really burnt out on it. I like to say "Do you like it? Here, take it." It means a lot to me that something I made touched somebody in some way. I have a hard time charging money for that. WM: Do you accept commissioned work? LP: Yes. It is easier because my time deserves to be paid for. It's better than if I have given myself to something and now want someone to pay for it. WM: There is a section on your website called Fratkure? Where did you learn that?  | | "Bird Song" ~ frakture painting | LP: When I lived in Germany (we were over there for about seven years). Fratkure is an old German style to do documents, like birth certificates and house blessings. All important occasions were done with the old painting look and calligraphy. They are handed down for generations. I had asked my landlady about hers and read about them and learned more about them. People wanted the old-fashioned look, but a new one for their homes. WM: Did you create these on commission? LP: Yeah, I did a lot of them. Not so much when I came back here. It's not too often anymore that someone German looks through my website and contacts me to do this. WM: Who are your artistic mentors? LP: Man Ray, who was a painter and photographer. He did installation type art and blended things together. Annie Leibovitz, although I usually don't like fashion photographs of famous people. She's not worried about always shooting their 'pretty' side, so the photos are real. My all time favorite is Diane Arbus. She took pictures of cross dressers and transvestites, people with Down syndromeł nudist camps. I would love to incorporate all of their stylesł the journalistic approach and the realness of people. WM: What do you love about being and artist? What do you not love about it? LP: Sometimes when I get a project in my head I can't sleep very well until I get it out of me on canvas or whatever. I love everything else about it. I love the textures and the colors. I love to play with things on a canvas. I get excited about new ideas. WM: Do you love being an artist here in San Diego? LP: I love that it is not as snotty as LA or NY. I've done some work in both places and here and there you find little clusters where you have to be 'in'. It's not about the work. Like... I know a gallery owner and she has known me for years and refuses to show my work because I have not done enough shows in the area. Which is stupid because she likes my work. I don't care anymore if people like my work. I won't lose sleep over it. I'm not willing to put forth the effort to please other people any more. Like my book, for instance. I'm sure some people will love it and others will hate it. I don't really care who likes it and who doesn't. I didn't write it for the critics. I just want it to reach the people that it can help.
I'm a perpetual Pollyanna. I figure God has things in control and I don't, no matter how much I wish I did, so I might as well have a good attitude about what's going on. Things will work out for the best.
I've gotten this far. I can go further. | 
