She's My Sister and My Brother!
by Rebecca McCadney
copyright 2003 All Rights Reserved

A Reivew of
The New Girl
A Novel by Edwin Perley
ISBN 1-58939-216-7
(VirtualBookWorm.com)
www.nfinity.com/~exile/novel

Two days after I started reading Edwin Perley's first novel, "The New Girl," I sent the following email to my editor.

"Do I really have to read a book cover to cover, especially if I am going to review it?"

My editor sent his reply.

"If you're going to review a book, ya gotta read it."

So, ten days later, I finished one of the most blandish novels ever written about hermaphrodites.

Edwin Perley chose to write a novel about a complicated and sophisticated topic, hermaphrodites or intersexed persons, and then presents the story as a cross between a biology textbook and first grade primer. His writing lacks subtleties, and he uses a tell-versus-show narrative style.

Christopher/Christine, our protagonist, is a hermaphrodite born with both male and female sex organs. Since internally "Chris" has male sex organs, he is raised for twelve years as a boy. As Perley states "This conclusion is supported by the belief that in the embryonic stage, Chris' sex organs had produced enough male sex hormones to masculinize his brain." Chris receives hormone treatments to make him more male than female. When the hormone treatments fail, due to a genetic disorder called androgen insensitivity syndrome ("the inability of a male to be affected by male hormones"), the family is forced to realize that Chris will inevitably become more girl than boy.

Perley presents the plot of his book-- the entire plot-- on the second page of chapter one. Our protagonist's conflict is summed up, clinically, in two pages. As a reader, that's it. I'm done. Why would I hang around for another 180 pages? I want to read a story to the end, even when I know the ending, as long as the writer tells me a sexy story.

Now, I am not talking Anne Rice "take-us-into-the-bedroom and between-the-sheets" sexy. She moaned. He sighed. Their sweaty bodies intertwined. Whatever. Perley, with great compassion for his subject matter, treats Chris with dignity. Unfortunately, his respect removes all tension, uncertainty, and sensationalism -- the sexiness -- from the story. After two days of skimming his book, I was done with it. I was no longer invested in Chris and the milestones that he/she over came.

Perley's tells us everything and never lets us, as readers, experience the story with Chris. For one, emotions were literally translated as internal monologue.

Chris observed again how unhappy and uncomfortable they looked [her family]. Now she no longer just felt ashamed. She felt angry with herself. 'Great, I'm making everybody miserable. So I'm wearing a dress. So what? I'm a girl. I've always been a girl. It's time I started acting like one. I'm going to feel good because I want to. She half raised up and smoothed out her skirt. There. Much better. Yeah, it's a nice dress. Nice and comfortable. And it fits me real good too. I made a good choice.' Just saying this to herself made her feel better.

Second, some key scenes are swept right over. Chris, traveling by train with her family, heads to the snack car with a boy. She thinks about kissing the boy, and the next thing we know, we're back with the family in a hotel room. Perley merely reminisces about the kiss, and we are shafted. I am not referring to the perverted, voyeuristic id of our minds that wants satiation, but the part of us, as readers, that wants to take that roller coaster ride of conflicted emotions and uncharted territory with the main character.

Third, Perley's storytelling didn't weave or unravel a story. I felt like I was looking at one long piece of knitting yarn. It had the potential to become a scarf or blanket or sweater, but instead it was just a piece of yarn. The story lacks subplot structure and nothing ever lingers or dives in and out of the story to cause continual conflict. Characters are introduced, on the spot, to create a problem that Chris miraculously solves within a few pages. My favorite example is the boyfriend dilemma. Chris, understandably, wants to keep boys and their curiosity at bay. To do this, and to feel more like a girl, she gets a timid boyfriend. On page 103, while on her way to church, Chris contemplates a romance. By the time church services are done, Chris is kissing some guy behind the bushes.

My final disappointment with this novel goes out to both Edwin Perley and Lyle Prosterman, the individual Perley kindly thanks for proofreading and editing his manuscript. The novel, all 183 pages, was littered with misplaced or missing quotations, some misspellings, and plenty of incomplete sentences. Perley chose VirtualBookWorm.com to publish his book. Based on packaged deals, you too can have your book printed on demand and made available at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com. VirtualBookWorm claims that they are not a vanity press, but due to the quality of this novel, they do fall within that category. They will print anything for money and care nothing for the finished product. No other reputable publisher would have allowed Perley's manuscript to go to press with so many blatant errors.

I must say that there were a few things that Perley did do well. He describes how Christopher feels when his mother helps him into his first dress, like they are doing something naughty. The mother breaks down for a moment as she styles Chris' still boyish hair to look like a girl's. Chris presents the analogy that wearing the dress feels like a Halloween costume. Chris utters "Whatever", unfortunately only once, like a real teenager. To a bully, Chris offers the choice of "[being] nice to the girl or [fighting] the boy." These moments in the novel were rare and sporadic, but in the end, appreciated.

If you are interested it reading Edwin Perley's debut novel, "The New Girl," feel free to order it from VirtualBookWorm.com, Amazon.com, or BarnesandNoble.com. Also, you can visit Perley's website, www.nfinity.com/~exile/novel, for additional information about the author, novel, and intersexed persons.

Lastly, if you want to read works by authors who handle the complex emotions and sexual issues of children and teens with sophistication and subtly, I recommend:

"Forever" by Judy Blume
"Blubber" by Judy Blume
(pretty much anything by Judy Blume)
"Geek Love" by Katherine Dunn
"Bluest Eye" by Toni Morrison

Have you read "The New Girl"? Want to comment? Please write to Reviews@WritersMonthly.com

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